This chapter is dedicated to Zaid-sama for his donation.
20th Meal: My current self vs my past self
Hello everyone, I am a Saint.
I will cure all your pain.
It is now 4.30 am, and the battle had begun.
The largest number of injuries that I had seen thus far. There was no doubt about it.
A long queue had already been formed within 10 minutes from the start of the war. Even those veteran healers who had been through many things, were frowning.
This, could we manage all of it… I do not know ahhh!!
And now, the number of injuries exceed the capacity that the healer association could accommodate. The treatment were even done outdoor now.
Although we were as prepared as we could for the coming battle, the reality was far worse than we expected.
There were even some that came back repeatedly even after being healed.
I could even remember their appearance.
One of the young soldier who was covered in mud and blood, seemed extremely apologetic as he scratched his head and laughed bitterly.
Although it felt as though he is energetic, both of his legs were broken.
Just before this, both his arms were broken. And even further before this, he suffered from multiple bone fractures.
[Can’t you be just a little more careful?]
I used [heal] to regenerate both of his legs angrily.
[There is no other choice], the soldier replied.
Presently, the hero is fighting the demon king alone.
Everyone else is using their body to block any demons that were trying to interfere with the hero.
They are literally acting as meat wall.
[This is the only thing we could do. Although we are not strong, we will definitely guard hero-sama’s back properly]
Dammit… there is nothing else I could say after this!
Looking at this soldier showing such a manly side, I just told him [Don’t get send here after you die, alright!?]
I sent him off after patting his shoulder. In actual fact, I am just voicing my complain.
Someone finally collapsed. The two that collapsed were Vivito and Tiffany-neechan.
That’s fast! The level of fatigue we accumulate was higher than expected.
[Desmond-ojiisan! The substitute!?]
[James, its your turn! I am depending on you!]
With a shout for acknowledgement, a grandpa with huge muscles all over his body took over Tiffany-neechan’s place.
It would take an hour for them to recover. No, would one hour even be sufficient for them to recover from their fatigue?
I had already been casting [Wide heal].
This is only a stop-gap method to buy us more time, as we were battling against time to help those with heavy injuries.
I focused my healing on those with heavy injuries.
[Rayen! Don’t force youself! Your face is pale!]
[… I, I am fine! I know when I should stop!]
Guild master Rayen seemed extremely exhausted.
Although his skills are good, he approached a bottleneck due to his illness.
An illness affecting mana consumption. This congenital disease increases the use of mana consumption.
He became the guild leader due to his good management skills.
However, he is still dissatisfied of himself.
After all, his original occupation is a healer.
[Dammit… how much longer must we hold on!?]
Someone unconsciously muttered.
All the healers currently in this place must also be thinking of the same question.
Vivito and Tiffany-neechan returned to the scene.
In exchange, Rayen and James-ojiisan retired from the battle.
Furthermore, Hilda-obaasan also retired.
The number of personal retiring is more than the number returning!?
This~is~bad~!! If this carries on…Eh? What? My eyes became blurry.
R, rather than being concern about this, what is more important is to thinking of a solution now…!
[C, cover person…!?]
My vision grew dark and my consciousness became blurry. It… it can’t be, mana exhaustion!?
I must not…fall…here…
My…consciousness…was cut off right here.
Just when I was informing Saint-sama that Hilda had retired.
Saint-sama, who had never even once collapse, lost her consciousness and collapsed here.
Tiffany let out a shriek.
An order from Thrust, the sub-guild master, was immediately given to Vivito to assist Saint-sama.
The order from the sub-guild master knocked Vivito back to his sense and he carried saint-sama into the canteen.
[How, how did this happen… Saint-sama collapsed!?]
The unforeseen event stir a commotion in the healer association.
[Do not panic! Saint-sama will be alright!! It is important for us to hold the line before Saint-sama returns!! This is the most critical part!!]
Saint-sama had considered various contingency plan, and told me to take over if there were any unforeseen circumstances.
Although I did not think this will ever happen, it still occurred nevertheless.
I will properly lead the remaining healers. This is the most critical period of time.
[I will even wager my life in order to maintain this…]
Looking around, I could see healers from my generation gathering near me.
I… no, our final battle is about the start.
[As, as expected, she is forcing herself!!]
[Hah…Hah…] I could hear myself panting heavily.
I am currently carrying Saint-sama over to Miranda.
My name is Vivito McFord.
It had been 5 years since I became a healer.
When I am 15 years old, I discovered that I have good affinity with healing magic and became a healer.
From that moment, I had been setting up booth on the street and worked as a healer for 5 years.
Although I did not earn much money, I was able to live freely.
However, the war between human and demon then commences soon after.
My life as a healer changed drastically.
Many of the injured soldiers and adventurers came to the healer association to receive treatment, so the association is packed with huge number of injuries.
I am also recruited into the healer association to increase the number of healers.
It is also here… that someone died because of me.
I did not make it. Because the speed of my [Heal] was too slow.
Before being recruited here, all the injuries I treated were scraps or fracture. I am only fighting to earn more money when I am working on the street stall.
Hence, my proficiency in healing did not grow…
Even till now, I could still remember what the comrade of the adventurer that passed away told me.
[Why…did you not save him!? Why… is he the only one that die!]
I could not say anything. She must be the lover of the dead adventurer, as she stared at me full of hatred.
From then on, I regretted my days of fooling around in the street stall. I could never forget those words and her stare.
Although I wanted to be drown in alcohol, I could not drink much as my tolerance toward alcohol was low. It was shameful.
I felt that [This is a punishment towards me for making light of life], and continued living life of self-blame.
And at this moment, the small and tiny Saint-sama appeared. Her healing attribute is S, and she is also a white elf!
In a blink of an eye, she mastered intermediate healing magic. And within the next few days, she even mastered advance healing magic.
[The reason must be talent…]
Looking at such a small child being better than me, I felt even more embarrassed.
However, I saw it. Even after magic training has ended for the day, Saint-sama would still continued practicing healing magic in her room.
It is not only for one day, but for every day…every single day!
Possessing such high affinity, having such large mana pool, Saint-sama still put in all her effort into practicing.
First, I entered into a shock. Then, I felt ashamed at myself.
What am I doing now, even when such a small child is working so hard on her own.
From that moment, I continue training my hardest.
Within a short period of time, although it was with the help of Saint-sama, my ability grew.
My rank rose from D to B. I experienced hell during this period of time and fainted multiple times.
However, Saint-sama did not fall even once.
And now, Saint-sama collapsed. Although I felt that Saint-sama was forcing herself many times before, she just laughed and said [I am alright].
Everyone… got encouraged by her smile.
[Hah, hah, such a thing…!!]
Despite having such a small body, she was still forcing herself! Using her smile to hide the pain she was suffering…!!
I felt my eye tearing up. It was shameful comparing to her, especially when I am an adult…!!
I finally arrived at the canteen. Miranda-san also fell into a state of panic.
This is the first time I saw Miranda-san becoming so panicky.
[Miranda-san! Please tell me where I could put Saint-sama down!!]
Miranda-san returned to normal after hearing my shouting, and created a makeshift area for her to rest.
I slowly place down the important Saint-sama.
[I shall leave Saint-sama to you!]
After handing things over to Miranda-san, I ran out.
There are still things that I could do.
Until Saint-sama comes back, I… we will definitely succeed!
After reconfirming my resolution, I ran towards the place where everyone is waiting for me.
What, is this? This is the first time. I had never experienced such a sensation before.
What, happened to me? I could not feel anything. I could not hear anything. I could not see anything.
There are still injuries waiting for me to heal! I could not rest at such a place!
Move! My body, move!! Why are you not moving!?
Dark, cold, feel horrible.
Dammit! It is not the time for this…!!
However, the situation did not change, and I still could not feel anything.
I never experience such fatigue before. I could hear voices, telling me to [give up] in the corner of my mind.
Dark! Cold! Feel Horrible!
Ah! No! Stop confusing me! I would never give up!!
However, this voice is all but a delusion.
Deep in my heart, I had already given up.
Don’t I always do things and give up halfway through?… I felt like giving up now.
That’s right, ever since back there, I always led an easy life and gave up when things got tough.
I would not bother with things that were unrelated to me.
As long as I am satisfied, I am fine with giving up. This is the sort of fellow I am.
…But is this it? Do I really want to be such person?
No! I do not want to give up!! Who, who will give up…!!
Its no use, nobody need you. It had always been this way, now and in the future…
You should understand such things when you were back on earth, right?
Noisy! Shut up!
In the end… it does not matter what happen to others, as long as you are satisfied…
You had always been this way, right? Why do you want to act like a good child now?
Is it because you care how others view you?
No! Stop it!!
Even if you think of them as comrades, they were most probably just making use of ‘me’?
They might feel disgusted, right? Possessing such monstrous power…
Nobody will need you, and nobody will think of you as someone important.
All the people here, be it the king, Delkett, Rayen, the healers, the citizens, Takaki, Futta, Alphonse, Eleanor, all of them think of it this way!
I felt exhausted. I had no energy to argue and resist.
I knew that a corner of my heart grew colder.
Should I…give up? I…already did my best, right?
[If you give up now, everything you work for will end]
Eh…? The owner of such a gentle voice is!?
The world of darkness slowly began to shine pink.
Possessing strength that I did not experience before. Illuminating the darkness, thawing the coldness, and healing my heart.
Then, the world of darkness got illuminated.
[Now, wake up. There are still people waiting for you]
This light, this warmth and this kindness.
I got enveloped by the light and slowly regain consciousness.
I looked back once more, and saw the past me, the me when I was still a man, waving and giving words of encouragement [Good luck].
That is me, the past me!! There are scars all over my body.
In the past [my body are full of damage…]? Dammit, I can’t remember why.
Then, on my hand… is peachy-sensei! This gentle voice must belong to peachy-sensei!
[Alright, go on, everyone is waiting for you]
Such a deep voice, this used to be my voice.
My past self smiled gently and kindly, urging me to go.
[Ah! I am going!!]
I bid farewell to my [past self]
And headed toward the side where people of my [current self] were waiting.
Please wait for me! I am going now!
For the first time, I felt as though I had been reborn into this world for real.
I would not give up halfway through anymore! I will do my best till the end!!
The rare creature than overcame her fate, begin her battle…!!
T.L End of Chapter 20 ~~ Do consider subscribing to my Patreon if you could =)